yesterday i had what is technically a terrible day. somehow i found it hilarious and awkward so im going to share it with you.

i went to the doctor in farragut at nine am and five minutes after i walk in a blonde walks in. she looks familiar and when she says her name i know she dated E after i did. five minutes after she sat down a red head walks in and at this point im open mouthed thinking no, like no not possible. it was. she said her name and she dated E after the other girl. i naturally told my mom via text while she sits next to me and she thought it was the funniest thing ever. she asked about every girl that walked in if it was another ex.

i went to school after the doctor for a meeting with my advisor to make sure im good to graduate. i had this gut feeling i was going to see T there and i thought seeing him would be the  only thing to make this day worse. well i got my cap and gown and headed to eat lunch with my friend and i was happy i didnt see him and then bam, he passes me on campbell station and waves so big. thought wow thats so weird three ex connections in less than an hour and a half thats got to be all that can happen to me today. no, theres more.

im on my way home from lunch and decided to go tan since i pay for it and havent been in nearly two weeks. i got off at papermill  but i didnt realize how backed up the turn lane was so i went straight across kingston to northshore and planned to just turn around and make a right on kingston. well when i go to turn left some lady whipped around a car in front of her and while im midturn she slams my right back end. despite the fact i was turning before she even appeared in the lane i got a ticket for failure to yield. still think thats the most that can happen to me? no still not.

my dad is being an angel and popping my dent out and was replacing my tail light and he thought he had to take screws out from inside my trunk, which he didnt, and he opened this side compartment and takes out a near empty fifth of jack. wow thats so awkward he ignored it and we mowed and ate dinner then on the way home he said i have to know why do you have a bottle of jack in your car? because i like it. ahhh, how do you like it? with tea. no no coke it goes with coke. no try it its way better with sweet tea. and how did you buy it. i didnt. that was the end of that conversation. 

thats the weirdest day ive ever had in my life and never will i say this day couldnt get any worse because thats false, clearly your day can always get worse.

ramble

As I sit in my bed with the window open I just hear the rain and the thousand thoughts running through my mind. It's melancholy and bittersweet, nostalgic and broken hearted, devastated and shocked. I'm at that point where I've run out of words for you, I'm sorry I don't know what to say or how to say it. I wish I were only as eloquent with my words as you can be. I feel something missing in my soul and it's one of the worst feelings. Tonight I realized you still burn a little and that's just not okay with me. I want that with someone else, someone now, and someone yesterday. I don't want to wait that long for something like that. I'm impatient and needy and sometimes a little obsessive and clingy. I want the grace to handle myself in every situation. I need to understand you better to better us. I want most to feel whole again.

la la la

Last night I had dinner with M and we just hung out at his house after which is perfectly fine by me. The best thing in the world no matter how cliche is when a tall boy picks you up and you can't touch the ground. La la la I love that.