the reasons im alone i know by heart

josh turner sure said it best, "the reasons im alone i know by heart, but i dont wanna spend forever in the dark. i swear next time id hang on for dear life, if love ever decides to give me another try." upon reflection its clear what was wrong and needed to change. heres the list of all my faults, the goal is that by writing them down ill actively try to fix them. something like a flaw fixing checklist or todo list. im too proud to apologize or be humble sometimes. quick tempered. terrible at expressing emotions through words (actually getting better with this one). i wont fight for something i want if the other person wont. i cant handle jealousy. too independent to be completely dependent on someone. and more that i cant quite pinpoint. 

theres no changing things that we regret,

the best that we can hope for is one more chance.

if the hands of time could just move in reverse,

i wouldnt make the same mistake again.

live and learn

recently ive been talking to my ex's best friends and roommate. just tweeting here and there and then its all lets all get together planning events and what not. i assume he gave them permission to talk to me blah blah blah. so were going to the orange and white game this weekend and then back to matts house where caleb lives because hes out of town. alright cool he said he couldnt see me after we broke up i totally understand give him his space right. then they say were fishing friday and then to matts. false. we have to change our plans because the owner of the house is being bossed by the bootycall of his friend. this girl told him im not allowed at the house i guess when caleb is there even though he said its okay if im there.one shes a tramp running a house she doesnt live in. two she was at the house to see matt, like near dating. she jumps in calebs bed. TRAMP. she should have no standing in that house. he says he knows he wont date her but its just fun. why should she be intimidated by me? shes getting more from that boy than i did in months.